I’m not really sure where everything went wrong, or what changed, but over the past few weeks and months, I’ve slowly come to the conclusion that somewhere along the way – photography stopped being fun, and it became a job.
At some point, I stopped shooting for me and the things that I like, and instead began shooting for others and what I hoped that they liked. Of course, some of that goes with the territory – especially if someone is paying you, but I realized that I had made this move pretty much exclusively.
I had stopped taking the camera out
of the bag unless it was for a job.
When you do photography as a profession, it brings on a lot of stress and second guessing, at least it has for me. Am I good enough? Why are people not choosing me? Are people satisfied with my work? Where do I need to improve? Can I improve?
Over the months, I think the stress and self-doubt really took its toll on the enjoyment factor – to the point that I had pretty much stopped using the camera for anything but when I needed to.
It doesn’t take much in the way of a negative experience – real or perceived – to throw everything off a cliff either. I spent a lot of time self-evaluating myself, using nothing but the vast tool set of; Attempting to read people, and going with my gut. Admittedly not a very scientific method…
So, I’m going to re-find my lost perspective, and make some changes. From now on, unless I actually hear otherwise, my best is going to have to do. The people that hire me, that’s what they’ll get – my best. And the people who don’t, and go elsewhere, that’s what I’ll wish them – my best.
If you’re thinking about hiring a photographer, I have a portfolio showcasing my work, look at it – that’s what you can expect. If you like it, great, let’s talk! If not, there are literally tons of other photographers out there, some who will surely fit your taste and budget.
My camera is going to get used again, for work, as well as for fun – and I’m not going to look back (hopefully).
